Dating Someone with a Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder

Dating someone with a compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD) can be challenging, but identifying these traits is the first step in addressing them.

Does your partner regularly engage in casual sex or have an intense preoccupation with pornography? Are their sexual behaviors becoming the main focus of their life? Do these actions affect their daily life or yours?

Your partner may be living with compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD) or hypersexuality. In many cases, people refer to this as symptoms of sex addiction, although this isn’t an accepted formal diagnosis.

CSBD is more than just physical actions. If your partner lives with CSBD, they may experience intrusive and repetitive sexual urges and thoughts, even if they don’t act on them.

Though the disorder can be disruptive to relationships and daily life, your partner’s CSBD is treatable. Talking with a health professional can be the first step to long-term management and recovery.

Language matters

In some references of this article, we use “sex addict,” a term written about, studied, and discussed in psychology and counseling groups and 12 step programs. Still, there is no evidence to suggest that sex addiction exists or that symptoms of compulsive sexual behavior may be explained as an addiction.

However, this is not to imply your symptoms and concerns aren’t valid or real. This clarification refers to formal terminology only.

What is CSBD?

CSBD refers to a pattern of recurring sexual behaviors and the inability to control them. These urges, fantasies, or actions can often have dire social and work-related consequences.

CSBD is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). But it is a diagnostic code in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). The ICD-11 defines CSBD as an impulse control disorder.

CSBD may include engaging in excessive amounts of:

  • casual sex
  • pornography viewing
  • masturbation

You can learn more about here.

How to know if you’re dating someone with CSBD

While only a mental health professional can diagnose CSBD, here are some of the signs:

  • extensive use of pornography and masturbation
  • use of paid sexual services
  • risky sexual behaviors
  • intense preoccupation with sex

These signs do not mean your partner is a bad person, nor is their behavior a reflection of you. This isn’t a personal choice they’re making, but it is a mental health condition they’re living with.

Also, just because you notice these signs in a partner doesn’t mean they automatically fit the criteria for compulsive sexual disorder.

Can compulsive sexual behavior be treated?

To treat CSBD, it’s helpful to know what might be causing it. This is still a growing area of study, but researchers have found links between compulsive sexual behavior and the following:

  • adverse childhood experiences
  • attachment issues
  • mental health conditions like depression

A 2019 study also found that 3.3% of males with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) exhibited symptoms of CSBD at the time of diagnosis, and 5.6% had symptoms in their lifetime.

Clinicians can treat these conditions whether alone or alongside compulsive sexual behaviors.

Treating CSBD

To treat compulsive sexual behaviors, clinicians will work with your partner to distinguish which sexual behaviors are causing distress or affecting social functioning.

Medical professionals can then suggest ways to decrease problematic sexual behaviors while reinforcing healthy behaviors.

The treatment options a therapist recommends will depend on your partner’s symptoms and what may be causing their behaviors.

Options can include:

If your partner is open to seeking help, consider looking for clinicians that work with people who exhibit compulsive sexual behavior.

The clinician may recommend a combination of therapy and medicinal treatment for your partner’s behaviors.

The following medications have also been successful in reducing compulsive sexual behaviors:

How to cope

Finding out your partner has CSBD and supporting them in recovery can be difficult. Taking care of yourself is essential as you navigate this disorder with your partner.

You are not alone

You might feel scared, embarrassed, or isolated knowing that your partner lives with CSBD. You’re not alone.

A 2016 study of college students found that almost 17% of the students surveyed met the criteria for CSBD.

When to seek professional help

If you suspect your partner has CSBD, it’s important to seek professional help.

A mental health professional can assess your partner’s symptoms and recommend the best treatment. Consider looking for a professional who specializes in supporting partners of addicts or one who specializes in compulsive sexual behaviors.

Setting boundaries

American Addiction Centers recommends asking yourself questions such as “Am I setting healthy boundaries for myself?” and “Am I giving myself time for my own stress management activities?”

Boundaries will vary, as each couple is different. One boundary may look like asking a partner to seek help from a professional for their behaviors.

Another could be asking your partner to abstain from engaging in casual sex with others if you plan to maintain a sexual relationship with them.

Learning about addiction and mental health conditions

There are great resources available for people supporting loved ones through addiction.

Groups such as S-Anon and organizations like SAMHSA are great resources to consult. You can find information about addiction and mental health conditions, how they manifest, and how they’re treated.

Support groups

Whether it’s with friends or through a formal group such as S-Anon, support is vital as you navigate your partner’s behaviors.

Finding a group of friends who will listen to you without judgment is essential. If possible, include someone who has a shared or similar experience.

If you or a loved one need somewhere to turn, there are resources available to you online, over the phone, and in person.

Taking care of your health

If you think your partner is engaging in sex with others while maintaining a sexual relationship with you, consider getting tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

If you want to continue the sexual relationship, using contraceptives and barriers to protect against STIs is essential.

Consider your relationship

In some cases, taking care of yourself may mean leaving the relationship. Your partner’s actions are not a reflection of you, and sometimes the best thing for both parties is a separation. This can be temporary or permanent.

Let’s recap

CSBD is a condition that requires diagnosis and treatment from a trained healthcare professional. If your partner’s sexual behaviors affect your life or yours, it’s time to seek help.

While you navigate this relationship, taking care of your own physical and emotional health is critical. Regardless of whether you stay in the relationship, their behavior isn’t your fault.


“The Perils and Pleasures of Online Dating”

Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years, offering people a convenient and accessible way to meet potential partners. However, along with its benefits, online dating also comes with its own set of perils and pleasures. In this passage, we’ll explore some of the upsides and downsides of online dating.

One of the main benefits of online dating is its convenience. Dating apps and websites allow people to connect with potential partners from the comfort of their own homes, without the need to spend time and money on traditional dating activities. This can be especially appealing for people with busy schedules or those who live in remote areas.

Another advantage of online dating is the ability to filter potential partners based on specific criteria. Dating apps allow users to set preferences for age, location, interests, and other factors, making it easier to find people who match their preferences. This can save time and energy by eliminating the need to sift through irrelevant matches.

However, online dating also comes with its share of perils. One of the biggest challenges is the issue of authenticity. With the anonymity of online communication, it can be difficult to tell whether someone is who they claim to be. Catfishing and other types of online fraud are common.

Another potential downside of online dating is the tendency to “swipe culture.” With so many potential partners at their fingertips, some people may become overly picky or dismissive, leading to a culture of superficiality and a lack of commitment.

Ultimately, the pleasures and perils of online dating depend on the individual’s approach and mindset. By being cautious about authenticity and avoiding the pitfalls of “swipe culture,” online dating can be a viable and enjoyable way to meet potential partners.


The Science of Attraction: What Draws Us to Certain People When Dating

Attraction is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that influences our dating and relationship choices. While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to what draws us to certain people, there are some scientific factors that can help explain the science of attraction.

  1. Physical appearance: Physical attractiveness is one of the most well-known predictors of attraction. We’re often drawn to people who we find physically attractive, and this includes factors like facial symmetrybody shape, and overall grooming and presentation.
  2. Similarity: We’re also more likely to be attracted to people who share our values, interests, and personality traits. This is known as the similarity-attraction principle, and it suggests that we’re drawn to people who are like us.
  3. Familiarity: We tend to be more attracted to people who are familiar to us, whether that’s through repeated exposure or shared social networks. This is known as the mere-exposure effect, and it suggests that the more we’re exposed to someone, the more likely we are to find them attractive.
  4. Chemistry: Chemistry refers to the feeling of connection and attraction that can develop between two people. This can be influenced by a range of factors, including body languageeye contact, and shared experiences.
  5. Social status: Our attraction to others can also be influenced by social status and social cues. For example, we may be more attracted to people who are perceived as high-status or popular.

While these factors can help explain the science of attraction, it’s important to remember that attraction is personal and subjective. What draws one person to another may not be the same for someone else. Ultimately, attraction is a complex interplay between biology, psychology, and social factors, and it can be influenced by a range of personal and situational factors.


Mature Dating: Finding Love in Your 40s, 50s, and Beyond

Dating in your 40s, 50s, and beyond can be exciting and fulfilling, but it can also be challenging. You may be divorced, widowed, or have never been married, and you may have different priorities and expectations than you did when you were younger. Here are some tips for finding love in your mature years:

  1. Know what you want: Be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for companionship, someone to travel with, or a long-term partner? Knowing what you want will help you focus your search and avoid wasting time on incompatible matches.
  2. Be open-minded: You may have a clear idea of what your ideal partner looks like, but don’t be too rigid in your expectations. Be open to meeting people who may not fit your usual “type.” You may be surprised by who you click with.
  3. Use online dating: Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years and can be a great way to meet like-minded people. Choose a reputable dating site and create a profile that accurately represents who you are and what you’re looking for.
  4. Attend social events: Join clubs or groups that align with your interests and attend social events. This is a great way to meet new people who share your hobbies and passions.
  5. Take care of yourself: Take care of your physical and emotional health. Exercise regularly, eat well, and engage in activities that bring you joy. This will help you feel confident and attractive, which can be a magnet for potential partners.
  6. Be patient: Finding love takes time, and it may not happen overnight. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet someone right away. Enjoy the process, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
  7. Be honest: Be honest about your past, your expectations, and your feelings. This will help you build trust and avoid misunderstandings.

Dating in your mature years can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. By being clear about what you want, being open-minded, using online dating, attending social events, taking care of yourself, being patient, and being honest, you can find love and companionship in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Remember, age is just a number, and it’s never too late to find love.


“The Art of First Impressions: Making a Connection While Dating”

First impressions are crucial when it comes to dating. The way you present yourself in those initial moments can make or break your chances of forming a connection with someone. In this passage, we’ll explore the art of making a good first impression while dating.

One of the most important things to consider when making a first impression is your appearance. This doesn’t mean you need to be dressed to the nines or have a perfect body, but it does mean making an effort to look your best. Clothing that fits well, good hygiene, and a confident posture can all make a positive impact.

Another important aspect of making a good first impression is your behavior. Being polite, attentive, and engaging can all help to create a connection with your date. It’s important to listen actively and ask thoughtful questions, rather than dominating the conversation or coming across as disinterested.

Nonverbal cues can also play a major role in making a good first impression. Maintaining eye contact, smiling, and using open body language can all convey warmth and friendliness. Conversely, crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or fidgeting can all create a negative impression.

Ultimately, the key to making a good first impression is to be genuine and authentic. Trying too hard to impress your date or putting on a false persona is likely to backfire. Instead, focus on being yourself and letting your personality shine through. By doing so, you’ll increase your chances of forming a genuine connection with your date.


“From Casual to Committed: Navigating the Transition in Dating”


Dating can be a complex and often confusing process, especially when it comes to transitioning from a casual relationship to a more committed one. The journey from casual to committed can be fraught with uncertainty and anxiety, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. In this passage, we’ll explore some tips for navigating the transition from casual to committed dating.

One of the most important aspects of transitioning from casual to committed dating is communication. It’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and intentions. This can help ensure that both partners are on the same page and can reduce the risk of misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Another key factor in transitioning to a committed relationship is time. Rushing into a commitment too quickly can put undue pressure on the relationship and may lead to feelings of resentment or regret. It’s important to take the time to get to know your partner and build a solid foundation of trust and respect before committing to a more serious relationship.

Boundaries are also important when transitioning from casual to committed dating. Both partners should be clear about their expectations and needs, and should feel comfortable expressing them. This can help ensure that both partners feel respected and valued in the relationship.

Finally, it’s important to be open and flexible when transitioning from casual to committed dating. Relationships are always evolving, and it’s important to be willing to adapt to changes as they arise. This may mean being open to compromise, being willing to work through challenges together, and being patient as the relationship grows and evolves.

Overall, the transition from casual to committed dating can be challenging, but with communication, time, boundaries, and flexibility, it can also be an opportunity for deeper connection and growth.


“Navigating the Modern Dating Landscape”

Dating has undergone significant changes in recent years, with the rise of online dating platforms, social media, and new cultural norms. Navigating the modern dating landscape can be challenging, as the rules of engagement are constantly evolving. In this passage, we’ll explore some of the key aspects of modern dating, including the role of technology, changing gender roles, and the importance of communication.

One of the most significant changes in modern dating is the role of technology. Dating apps and websites have made it easier than ever to connect with potential partners, but they’ve also created a new set of challenges. With so many options available, it can be challenging to know where to start. Additionally, the anonymity of online communication can make it difficult to gauge someone’s intentions or authenticity.

Another aspect of modern dating is changing gender roles. As society becomes more egalitarian, traditional gender roles are becoming less relevant. Women are increasingly taking the lead in initiating relationships, and men are expected to be more emotionally open and expressive. While these changes have led to more equality in relationships, they’ve also added a layer of complexity to the dating process.

Ultimately, the key to navigating the modern dating landscape is communication. Being clear about your expectations, boundaries, and intentions can help ensure that both partners are on the same page. It’s also important to be open and honest about your feelings, even if they’re difficult to express. By prioritizing communication and authenticity, you can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships in the modern dating world.


Some general tips and advice on dating…

Have you ever thought about having a sweet date with your lover? How can you integrate yourself and your lover into emotions? Here are some tips!

1. Be yourself: It’s important to be authentic and genuine when you’re dating someone. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, because eventually, your true self will come out.

2. Communication is key: Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and encourage them to do the same.

3. Take things slow: Don’t rush into a relationship or try to force things. Take the time to get to know someone and see if you’re compatible before committing to a relationship.

4. Show interest in your partner: Ask questions about their life, listen to their answers, and show genuine interest in their hobbies and passions.

5. Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries and communicate them clearly with your partner. This can include anything from physical boundaries to emotional boundaries.

6. Be respectful: Treat your partner with respect and kindness, and expect the same in return. Don’t belittle or criticize them, and avoid making assumptions about their thoughts or feelings.

7. Have fun: Dating should be enjoyable! Don’t take things too seriously, and remember to have fun and enjoy the company of your partner.

Overall, remember that dating is about finding someone who you enjoy spending time with and who shares your values and interests. Keep an open mind, be yourself, and have fun!


“Dating in the Digital Age: How Technology Has Changed the Game”

Technology has had a profound impact on many aspects of our lives, including dating. From the rise of dating apps to the prevalence of social media, technology has fundamentally changed the way we approach relationships. In this passage, we’ll explore some of the ways technology has changed the dating game in the digital age.

One of the most significant changes in dating is the rise of online dating platforms. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have made it easier than ever to connect with potential partners, with the swipe of a finger. The convenience of these apps has made them a popular choice for many people, particularly younger generations who are more tech-savvy.

Another way technology has changed dating is through social media. Sites like Facebook and Instagram have become a platform for people to showcase their lives and connect with others. This can be a double-edged sword, as social media can create unrealistic expectations or lead to feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Technology has also changed the way we communicate in relationships. Text messages, video calls, and other digital forms of communication have replaced traditional phone calls and face-to-face conversations. While these forms of communication can be convenient, they can also lack the nuances and emotional depth of in-person interactions.

Finally, technology has made it easier to maintain long-distance relationships. With video calls and messaging apps, couples can stay connected even when they’re physically apart. This has opened up new possibilities for people who live far away from each other or have busy travel schedules.

Overall, technology has had a significant impact on the dating game in the digital age. While it has created new opportunities and made dating more accessible, it has also brought new challenges and changed the way we approach relationships.


The Power of Vulnerability in Dating: Building Deeper Connections

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but it can actually be a strength when it comes to dating and building deeper connections. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner, you open the door to intimacy, trust, and emotional connection. Here are some tips for embracing vulnerability in dating:

  1. Be honest about your feelings: Don’t be afraid to express your emotions and share your feelings with your partner. This can help you build trust and create a sense of emotional closeness.
  2. Share your life experiences: Share your life experiences, including the good and the bad. This can help your partner understand you better and create a deeper connection.
  3. Listen actively: When your partner is sharing their feelings or experiences, listen actively and show empathy. This can help your partner feel heard and understood, and create a stronger emotional bond.
  4. Allow yourself to be seen: Allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are, flaws and all. This can help you build authenticity and create a sense of trust and intimacy.
  5. Take risks: Take risks in your relationship, whether it’s trying a new activity together or expressing your feelings. This can help you build confidence and create a deeper connection with your partner.
  6. Be open to feedback: Be open to feedback from your partner and don’t be defensive. This can help you grow as a person and create a stronger emotional bond.
  7. Practice self-compassion: Remember that vulnerability can be scary, and it’s okay to feel nervous or anxious. Be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go as planned.

Embracing vulnerability in dating can be scary, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By being honest about your feelings, sharing your life experiences, listening actively, allowing yourself to be seen, taking risks, being open to feedback, and practicing self-compassion, you can build deeper connections with your partner and create a more fulfilling relationship. Remember, vulnerability is a strength, and it can help you create a stronger emotional bond with your partner.